Despair

so so so tired.

I would like to write and let the world know but I don't have time.

I gotta go to work and go to school and cook and be nice and make em smile and look pretty and be strong and think on my toes and take out the trash and get up and get up and I would like to write and let the world know but I have to feed and clothe and listen and dance and sing and put her hair in those pigtails she likes so much and teach him never to forget to hold the door and pull out her chair and go to the grocery store and shower and bathe. I would like to write and let the world know but I don't have time. I have to read and study and iron and fold and I need quarters for laundry and I have to read them their bedtime story and sweep the floor and make dinner reservations...at my own table.

I would love to write and let the world know why the cage bird sings.

she longs to.

be.

able.

for.

just.

one.

moment.

to.

let.

the.

world.

know.

her longing.

her presence.

her strength.

and her

weaknesses.

her joy.

her sorrow.

her.

not to be noticed

but to be acknowledged.













*chuurch* =)

breathe.

Breathe

in through my mouth and out of my nose

Sigh

of relief.

or I'm just tired

yawn.

Today

is a day in a growth process

I'm

not loosing

I'm gaining.

My step forward is your...

step backward

and give me space to

breathe

I have a story to

tell.

Click!

Miles to go before I sleep...

I pray the Lord my soul to keep

If I should die before before before...



CLICK



It's awkward. I love taking pictures and it's been so long since I have stood next to you for more than an hour...nonetheless it's hard 2 smile.The environment makes me feel afflicted.

But that smile is for you.For us. For our family. Your strength.Our struggle.

We have this imprint. In time... no matter how far away you are from me--and I from you--We are still standing tall together. Everyday.

They say a picture is worth 1,000 words.....

They can't take that away from you.

somedays it's hard to smile.

But today, when I look at this photograph, I will.

It's means so much to me.

..............

I love you and miss you dearly

Love,

Your sister,

Shelley

jumping to conclusions [on romance and relationships]

DON'T.












el fin.

the sanity of insanity.

I went today to see someone very close to my heart who, incidently happens to be in a mental hospital. While I was waiting for visit approval an elder walked out and into the hall where I was. She said, "You just never know what's gonna happen to you in this life, but no matter what it's always the women that have to adjust."



....and I thought that's one of the most sane things I've ever heard. I understood then the paradox of her being in a mental institution





just thought I'd share.

SnoooooooZzZzZzZze

up. down.

at the top at the bottom

in the fridge

in the cabinet

turn on the stereo

turn it off

I'm so wired



Shhhhhhhhh



lights out

lights back on

bathroom

living room

read a book

put it down

daydream

fantasize

reminisce

contemplate



Shhhhhhhh



tic toc tic toc tic toc drip.

I'm sooo *yawn* restless.