whatchamacallit

Even at the most gorgeous points on the outside I am still floating on empty within it's a slew of ups and downs I feel like I'm on drugs it hits like that up and down I am falling when I grasp something and gain control of it I lose something else my brain only clasps on to certain moments and memories everything outside of that is hard to remember this is a small space the world is trying to turn me out I turn in and watch myself I still feel like I have a handful of sanity I suffer from great paranoia